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| Ingrid |
Ingrid lay down on the test room floor, her eyes closed and her feathered wings wrapped around her shoulders like a blanket. Just a short nap was all she needed. If only they did her tests at night instead of the day.
The door opened.
She sat up, her head light for a moment from the quick movement. Please, God, don’t let them do anything awful today.
Her handler set a bowl of three cream-colored balls on the floor. Then she left, the door shutting behind her.
Ingrid got to her feet and walked over to the bowl, her bare feet squishing on the white foam floor. The stuff in the bowl looked like food, but feeding time wasn’t until that night. She crouched next to it. If only she had Matt’s sharp scent to check it for drugs.
She picked up the bowl. Even through the plastic, she could feel the white stuff’s coldness. Maybe this was a treat. She’d just test it first. She scooped some of it on her finger and licked it off. Mmm! It was sugary like cookies. Matt and Bryce would love this. They loved milk.
What do you think of the excerpt? Have you done Voice Week? Links?
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I don't get as much of an impression of personality from this one as I did from the others, I think because there is a little less body-language involved. Ingrid seems fairly calm and annoyed, but I want to know more about her. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks. :) She's the one I need to work on. But that's what this is for right? Thank you for commenting. :)
DeleteIngrid seems calm and logical, relying more on her head than her instincts (probably because she lacks the cat-nose). She seems sweet and just trying to make it through whatever ordeal this is.
ReplyDeleteYou pinned her. ^ ^ Thanks for commenting.
DeleteIngrid is distinct from the other two, but I agree with the other commenters that a lot of that distinction is in her lack of emotion. That could be a character trait or it could mean you need to work on her more, up to you.
ReplyDeleteShe is calmer than the other two. Hmm ... I'll think about it. Thank you for commenting. :)
DeleteIngrid is pretty plain, seems more used to the surroundings than the previous two. It seems she has a better understanding of what is going on as well.
ReplyDeleteYeah she's more chill. Thank you for commenting. :)
DeleteShe seems like a pleasant character. She takes things in stride and doesn't freak out.
ReplyDeleteThere's another part of her that I can't quite make out: her thoughts seem more mature in beginning, but in the last paragraph they seem less so. Any remarks?
She is.
DeleteHuh I did not notice that. That's interesting. I just wrote the best to what I thought she would do. Thank you for commenting!